[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you move out and have a house of your own :)

me, in this economy: a what

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you get married and have a husband :)

me, a known gay: a what

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you start a family and have your first baby :)

me, an asexual: A WHAT

[catf8sh]

my parents: our little girl is growing into a woman!
me, a nonbinary: a what

[sin-artist]

my parents: our boy is growing into a strong man
me, a nonbinary: a what

[exoskyll]

my parents: can you tell us the SI unit of power, equivalent to one joule per second, corresponding to the power in an electric circuit in which the potential difference is one volt and the current one ampere? me: a watt

[cockyhorror]

the large man who just obliterated my front door: you’re a wizard harry

me, just harry: a what

[daily-garfield]

07/23/83

[bookvideogamemaniac]

WHAT???? I NEED CONTEXT

[pissbabyanarchist]

Dude there are 6 Garfield strips that explain Garfield is actually an abandoned cat dying alone of starvation in an apartment and all the food and friends are in their head.

[king-of-the-heel]

UR JOKING

[pissbabyanarchist]

[itsaarnie]

What the fuck

[reddyrabbit]

Incorrect. Jim Davis has gone on record saying that the Halloween strips were a nightmare. This is also supported by OUR Garfield being canonically Garfield’s overall 8th Life.

As told in “Garfield: His 9 Lives”, Garfiled was born behind an Italian Resturant, was caught eating the Lasagna, was placed in the same pet shop as Odie (Who was established as being Garfield’s eternal rival through all his lives), and was adopted by Jon. Garfield will live long enough to see his GrandKittens.

Also, as for Garfield’s amazing powers that you constantly see here and elsewhere?

That’s what God looks like at the beginning of “Garfield: His 9 Lives”.

Garfield is, canonically, an Avatar of God.

[ftagn]

Garfield is an eldritch being, pass it on!

[cowten]

This has officially made me decide to start watching this show

boredpanda.com

Zoos Get Into Brutal #CuteAnimalTweetOff Battle, And It’s Exactly What The Internet Needed

While bad news and political turmoil were turning everyone against each other, a #CuteAnimalTweetOff erupted, and it was exactly what Twitter needed.

[conservativeleague]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I need to give Gentle Hugs to every single one of these Zoo Friends

[redactedkondraki]

M Y HEART

[rhus-rhadicans]

aaaaah

[yiffkashi]

soft boys

[smurflewis]

As a zoo keeper I can confirm we all think our animals are the best and cutest and will always challenge other keepers XD

[4gifs]

Husky dogs get bamboozled by mask. [video]

[dreamlightasafeather]

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

[mamalizmas]

Reblog to literally save a life

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I’ve done this.  I’m alive because of this. 

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before.  They’re trained for it.  They will understand what you’re saying.  Order the pizza.

[torios]

Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.

[skelatal-remains]

Reblog to save a life

[mouse-named-minerva]

Why the fuck is this not more widely known?

[stability]

i literally can’t stop thinking about this video and i lose it every time

[zamzamafterzina]

Lmfao

[noneeyewithleftyork]

okay everything about this video is absolute gold:

• the fact that the guy argues via the puppet the entire time
  
• the music
  
• “let’s discuss the contradiction”
  
• the overuse of the word “camera”
• the way the puppet goes from trying to placate the guy to actively arguing against the guy and like turning it around on the guy
• “youre consciously making a conscious choice”
  
• the fact that by the end the puppet is basically screaming and the music is just. so loud.
  
• “YOURE BREAKING THE CAMERA” as the video abruptly ends
  

[did-you-kno]

Our excessive plastic pollution has formed a new kind of ‘stone’ that future scientists can probably use to track our existence. 'Plastiglomerate’ is a durable material that forms when melted plastic combines with sediment and natural debris. It’s so dense that it easily becomes buried, which will potentially preserve it in the fossil record of our current time period. Source Source 2

Anonymous asked:

Can you post a set of your favorite Nigel thornberry gifs?

camrenillusion-deactivated20171 answered:

Best thing ever made on the internet.

My all time fave: